Гліб Буряк, Ph.D., викладач ConcordiaUA.
У мене дома є стопка наукових журналів, тримаю лише тому, що там мої публікації. Як нормальний український науковець, чужі публікації я читаю лише тоді, коли попросять на них рецензію.
Тим часом у Англії, десь між статтями про макроекономічну рівновагу та економетричними кореляціями, фантазії молодого вченого на тему Шекспіра:
GREG DAVIDSON
A midnight summer’s dream
SETTING: A fiery inferno, the unstable economy was plaguing the earth. As the scene opens, the fire has raging for many years.
A Keynesian and Monetarist stand on a heap of rubble, a little above the flames, in white asbestos suits. Perhaps they are each holding a fiddle.
MONETARIST: I say let the fire burn — once the excess of timber, foliage, and other combustibles has burnt out, the environment will be newly stabilized. Let nature take its course.
KEYNESIAN: (Angrily adjusting his asbestos gloves) Just like the
“30s! The homes of the poor burn, the suffocating flames eat up
the oxygen that the poor desperately need to breathe
MONETARIST: Well, I can’t say much for your policy. (Haughtily)
Pumping oxygen into the air.
KEYNESIAN: It gives the people something to breathe!
MONETARIST: (While fanning the flames even higher) It certainly
worked that way in the 70s. (He removes his goggles to wipe
his sweat with a handkerchief.) By Milton! but it’s hot out here.
(Enter a post Keynesian in fireman’s gear, pulling a hose.)
MONETARIST: (Distastefully)
Excuse me sir, but what are you trying to pull?
POST KEYNESIAN (Dousing some of the nearest flames) I beg your pardon?
KEYNESIAN: Whať’s with the hose and the funny hat?
POST KEYNESIAN: (Still hosing) I’m trying to put the fire out.
MONETARIST (Incredulous) By getting everything wet? Really,
my good man, you needn’t go around distorting the environment with your unproven hypotheses.
KEYNESIAN: I like the “O” part of this H2O policy. but the hydrogen . . . . ( Looking up) Is that really necessary? Intuitive reasoning suggests that, ceteris paribus, the injection of H2 into the system will . . . uh . . . (He examines a 45 degree line curve) cause everything to burn even more than with the oxygen policy.
(Chuckling) And certainly, no one can breathe your stuff.
POST KEYNESIAN: (Avoiding a collapsing beam) We’ve got to do something!
MONETARIST: Indeed we must, but look at your idea from a detached viewpoint. Mine, for example. You simply can’t keep the
world wet forever. No, eventually the water will run out, and
then we’ll still have the inflamatory pressures, as well as a world full of the inefficiencies that your water would cause.
POST KEYNESIAN: But . . .
MONETARIST: Liquidity just doesn’t matter — it’s the supply of
flamables in the environment that is important. Obviously,
you have something that is flammable, eventually it’s going to
burn.
POST KEYNESIAN: (To the Keynesian) You must understand!
You know the works of our great founding fireman.
KEYNESIAN: Yes. That is to say, yes and no. Or perhaps no. Or, as they say, dogs that bark do not bite, just as there is an equilibrium between the fire and the frying pan. When the frying
pan gets hot, it stands to reason that the fire must be losing
heat; or contrariwise, where can the frying pan lose heat but to
the fire? I have an econometric analysis of this very model
(Rummaging through his pouches) . . . here somewhere . . . . (Mutters) I’ll show those damn physicists who’s an empirical scientist! (Digging up a chunk of charred ash) Oh, here it is. A little singed, I’m afraid, but still useful in the proper context . . . (He looks up, but the post Keynesian is gone)
MONETARIST: He just went off his his hose.
KEYNESIAN: (An insult) Radical!
MONETARIST: (A worse one) Socialist! The only way to fight fire is with fire.
KEYNESIAN: Solving our problems with water. Doesn’t he understand how complex the situation is? Of all the crazy ideas.
MONETARIST: Wooley-headed intellectual. Bah, water! I’ll bet
he never had to meet a payroll.
(A long pause. Silence, except for the crackle of flames.)
KEYNESIAN: Actually, It’s just that I never learned how to swim.
MONETARIST: Nor me.
(Fade out . . . perhaps they start to play their fiddles.)
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